"Are You Happy Being Fat Then??"

Monday, October 14, 2013

Yes that seriously is the title of this post and this my friends is what someone asked me not long ago......
Needless to say I nearly lost it with them.....

Where do I even begin answering that question??? Was she being serious?? Actually yes she was, this person in question always speaks before engaging brain, esp when it comes to my weight.

Other lovely comments from her have been... 'Oh Emma you would be so pretty if you lost a bit of weight' and 'Your face would look gorgeous if you just lost some weight' ... its like she tries to hide the fact she's insulting me by throwing in nice words like 'pretty' and 'gorgeous'......

What's wrong with ME JUST BEING ME??? Why does she feel the need to tell me what she thinks or feels about MY body or as the case was the other day asking me stupid questions like 'Are you happy being Fat?'
Why throw in the FAT bit? Why couldn't she just say 'Are you Happy Em??'

My response to her whilst giving her the wide eyed 'can you actually be serious??' look was 'Well yeah, I'm happy with the way I am at the moment thanks' before leaving the room to have a bloody good cry, why does she do this to me? Why must she make me feel like this?

The truth is actually YES I am happy, be it FAT, THIN or otherwise I am generally happy with myself, I know I am a bigger, curvier, a larger lady, yes OK, FAT but that has never hindered me in life I've always had amazing friends, found boyfriends, found a husband, been on holidays, got a good job... done everything that any other non fat person has done so why wouldn't I be happy???? I'm not likely to want to go wing walking or do a parachute jump when my weight could become an issue.

In fact I  was very happy that day until she made that stupid comment.
Don't get me wrong I, like a lot of plus size people I'm sure, struggle on certain days. Even fat people have days when they feel EVEN fatter and struggle with how they look, I have at times just wanted to hide away in black, just shrink and blend into the background, be a wall flower and not really be seen.... thinking maybe if I cover myself in a tent like black outfit I will somehow just not be noticed, we've all been there I'm sure. But as I've gotten older and took a more F.You attitude to things I don't want to be that woman anymore, I embrace my body, my curves, my FAT for what it is, for who I am..... just because I am FAT does not automatically mean I am unhappy. I love my life, I have an amazing Husband who loves me fat or thinner (he's seen both sides, as I have of him) I have an awesome mum who loves me for me, a fab brother, a cute pooch who doesn't care what size I am, fantastic friends, great work colleagues, a bloody brilliant blogging community to talk to, so why oh why would I not be happy??? OK there is the subject of the lack of children, the NHS and the BMI issue, but you know what, that's irrelevant right now that's not about me being Happy as a FAT person.

So, in answer to your question lovely person who shall remain nameless YES I am happy being FAT.
Question is are YOU happy if you feel you have to batter me with hurtful and stupid questions like that???

Rant Over.

Mrs M xxxx

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  1. Seeing a confident plus size woman seems to confuse a lot of people. I get the comments too but am starting more and more to say things back. My co-worker last week asked me if my body was "stuck like this" or whether I just ate far too much. I responded "Oh don't you know that's where all the pies go" and felt better for it. Xx

  2. I can't believe she had the audacity to say that, at least word it a bit more politely if you're that desperate to ask. Needless to say there isn't really a polite way to say something like that. Maybe society percieved you as looking 'better' when you were thinner, but if it was the result of dieting I bet you were bloody miserable! Chin up Emma, you're beautiful xx

  3. You should have just reflected the question back, so they could realise how inappropriate that question is. It is so not okay for anyone to think that kind of question is okay. At the end of the day people love to think that people who are bigger must be unhappy because people are always looking for justification for their unhappiness. For example a woman may think that her unhappiness is due to her weight, which very well may be the case, but she could also be unhappy because of her job, or her bad friends (the ones that ask stupid questions) people just love to have something or someone to blame. You are a lovely person so don't you dare waste a single tear on that person. NO WAY. <3

  4. How bloody rude??? And what a totally pointless and irrelevant question to ask somebody!! And with the added comments relating to how much better you would look if you were thinner, I wonder why you would be friends with her anyway!!
    A mother of one of my daughter's friends once asked me if I was on a diet, and when I replied that I wasn't, she asked me if I would like to be! She then proceeded to show me all her "wonderful" weight watchers products that she had got and told me how she had started promoting them for money! I wanted to smack her right there and then - and besides everything else, she may not have been as fat as me, but she was still fat!!
    I will never understand why somebody else could give a care about how fat or thin another person is! It has no relevance to their lives, impacts them in no way whatsoever, so why bother making it their concern?????

  5. Em, I know sometimes it's hard to cut people out of our lives, but someone like that will eat away at you like a cancer. I know, I had a 'friend' like this once too, and she was skilled in the stinging questions too. She sounds so narcissistic that she doesn't understand how hurtful her words are, either that or she gets off on hurting people, and in either case she's bad news. Does she have any redeeming qualities?! Because if she doesn't, please know you are worth so much more than this. No one needs a 'friend' like this, and maybe the loss of your friendship will be a lesson to her...but if she's as narcissistic as I think she is, she'd make the end of your friendship allll about her too. x x

  6. I just don't understand people, I really don't. I can't comprehend how people can presume you can only be happy if you are thin, what on earth is that all about?

    I've never really had comments from friends but a colleague asked me when I got engaged if I planned to lose weight for my wedding and last week she told me "I didn't dress like a fat person". Some people are just rude, ignore your 'friend' and let her wallow in her own unhappiness and insecurity x

  7. I completely get this. The worse thing is sometimes it takes more courage/confrontation than I have in me just to say that yes I am infact happy and its pretty rude of your to ask in that manor..

    I absolutely adore my mum, but she is guilty of a bit of this.. If I wear a maxi dress she'll comment on how it looks lovely because I'm all covered up and you can't see my legs. Which sort of seems like one of those double ended comments. You've masked it with some niceness but its not really nice.

    Good on you for being able to vent this out on the blog though. Nice to feel like its not just me!


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